I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
