i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
