Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I need to sanitize my soul.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
