I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
