sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
