That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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