i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize