when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
