remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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