You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
