No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
