The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
