I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the day after is always just damage control
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
