He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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