u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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