Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
