The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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