why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
