I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
