At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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