I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
