he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
