Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
