I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
