it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just high enough for therapy.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
