Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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