I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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