He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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