she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Nobody cheats on THIS.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
