I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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