we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
