Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
