it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
