Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
