I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
