After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
