I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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