i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
