i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
