It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
