and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
