Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
