cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
