yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
