Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
