Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
