Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
