your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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