I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
