Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
