somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
only you would photoshop your dick
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
