I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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