woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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