nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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