apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
