This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
