I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
