Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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