its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
