Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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