HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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