Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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