No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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